when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
