If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
