YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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