So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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