Can i not drive my cunt home
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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