She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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