Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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