You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
