Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
how drunk are you?
Several
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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