I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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