The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
