god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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