The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
