Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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