It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize