I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize