She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
