Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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