remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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