guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
