In America we eat man semen.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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