no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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