When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
