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well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
