i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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