There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
