i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
