my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
