I'm so fucking centered right now
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
