If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
