Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize