Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
