Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
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