it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she pinky promised me she was 18
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
