If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
