u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
