3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
