My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
