Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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