Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
as a side note pls kill me
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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