I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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