I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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