She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize