I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
