Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
