forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
