i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize