Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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