you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
