wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize