She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
