Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
