i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
