just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
