I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize