I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
