At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
