This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
