All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
