Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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