i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
