I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
